|
"you will be chasing your tail all day" really means "I wish I was clever enough to do my own job!"
"You would be nothing if it wasn't for me!" really means "I am mong"
"I carry this team" really means "Its about time I had another go on that excellent bar tender game"
"I haven't got time to read emails" really means "I am so stupid that I dont know how to start Outlook"
"I am only 27% gay" really means "I shag at least a quater of the blokes that I meet"
"I am more than happy with my company car" really means "you were right...it is a bag of shite"
"I am dead wood" really means "I am dead wood" (the only sensibe thing a failsworthian every says!)
"I cannot work under these conditions" really means "I am am grumpy git so please go away or I will hit you"
"Because it's cleaner" really means "cobble it because you don't know any better"
"i'm going to get a new job" really means "I am institutionalised and will spend the rest of my days in this shit hole"
"my car is really fast" really means "shit...I should have come on the bus"
"Nobody's straighter than me" really means "I'm quite partial to the odd trouser sausage and I've got my eye on yours"
"I never said that" really means "I did say it, but I wish I hadn't"
"It will never work" really means "Shit, I wish I had thought of that fantastic idea." "It's gonna be a lotta work" really means "It should take me three days, but I bet I can string it out to two weeks" "You have a lot to learn" really means "I have a lot to learn"
"I went to the university of life" really means "I did go to university believe it or not, but I act like I didn't" "Shut up or I will punch you in the face" really means "You have made me look silly and my only response is physical violence"
"You're just a kid" really means "I am older and more stupid than you. I think it is about time that I gave up my job and found one that was more suited to my miniscule intellect."
"All you do is play games all day!" really means "I cannot understand how you produce such quality work in such a short period of time. I will try harder to be more like you." |
