Give the poor bitch a job...

Commercial experience
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-33 years tail chasing
-10 years as an apprentice having my nads painted blue.
-5 years working as a Dale Winton look-a-like
-10 years in prison (for stealing a wheelie bin)

Education
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It's all academic bollocks. These kids come out of uni with a lot to learn. In my day you were stripped stark bollock naked, hung upside down and had various parts of your anatomy painted (with engineer's blue) by a bunch of well bent, hairy arsed engineers....and that was all the education you ever needed! Those were the days.

Qualifications
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A levels : Face punching(A), bumming(A) and cobbling(A+)
BSc in Tail chasing and advanced wheeliebin customisation

Skills
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Fuck All